“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” — Edgar W. Howe
“If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.” — Bette Davis
“Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.” — Bruce Lansky
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My name is E-l-o-d-i-a. I wouldn’t make that up. My mother did, but I wouldn’t. People often ask me if I got teased, when I was a child, because of my name. I tell them “Nope”. Children didn’t have a problem with my name. It’s the adults that seem to have a problem.”
The telephone’s ringing, the TV is blaring.
Sister is crying’ cause Brother’s not sharing.
There’s a spill on the carpet that no one will claim.
There’s no time for sitting when Mommy’s your name.
Some things we take for granted. Like getting dressed. Unless we are paraplegic, an absolute klutz or have just smoked far too much cabbage, getting dressed is a cinch.
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Whoever dubbed New York, New York “the city that never sleeps” should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of “A Star Is Born” at the late-show theatre, right near Mama’s Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa’s Gas Station (”We burp you on your way.”).
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We have all heard how different our lives will be once we have our first child. Here’s a look at the humorous side of that scenario.
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It is the age of email, and I have to say that I’m fundamentally grateful. One aspect of email that I’m not too thrilled about is the “FW: Helpful and Inspiring Advice” variety. It’s the new medium of choice for well meaning plagiarizers to pass along unsolicited and authoritative tidbits of information that they have no intention of following, either.
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I spent the full nine months of pregnancy bonding with my baby. For her cerebral stimulation, I played Mozart and read aloud from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I regaled her with stories of a family steeped in history (no sense disillusioning her too early). I named her, nicknamed her, and shared girl talk with her. We bonded in every aspect imaginable
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Moms have learned to decipher the englinsh language in their own way. Read these hilarious definitions of everyday common words which mean something entirely different to Dear Old Mom!
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When I was expecting my third baby, one of the first things I stressed to my obstetrician was my desire to be signed up for epidural anesthesia during delivery. My doctor looked at me confidently and said, “Oh, this is your third, you won’t need an epidural.” I guess maybe when “HE” delivered his third he didn’t need one but I sure did.
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